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ANGER AND SEXUAL OFFENDING
Anger is probably the most complex and confusing feeling that we experience. No person or situation can "make" us angry; our anger is directly related to our perceptions (thinking errors) of situations, persons and events.
Typically, an individual will experience anger when she/he feels blocked, frustrated, abused, or neglected. Sometimes anger masks other feelings e.g. fear or hurt. On the other hand, sometimes anger is hidden behind other emotions e.g. sadness or rejection. Anger will typically occur more frequently under stress - a reaction to fatigue, stressful events and circumstances. For offenders this often happens when they are caught up in the offending cycle and take risks, are impulsive and have no thought of the victim. Leading to thinking errors.
However, in order to control the expression of anger, one must first understand it. Control is not about stopping or suppressing anger. The two most common things that people do with anger is to either blow it off (explode) or suppress it (keep it stuffed up inside).
A third possibility, the healthiest, is to learn to own anger. Recognising, labeling, and expressing anger in healthy ways is vital to good mental health. In many ways, anger is linked to thinking errors. This is because when one fails to acknowledge anger, thinking errors creep in. For example, "It's not my fault" - blaming/avoiding responsibility or "Who cares what they think" - lack of empathy for others feelings.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with anger is to follow this simple formula:
A = Acknowledge anger - say "I feel angry" - this prevents thinking errors.
B = Breathe - take some deep breaths - it clears your head, gives your brain oxygen and releases some of the energy into your body. A good thing to do while you a deep breathing is to count to ten slowly.
C = Choose - the ability to see that you have a choice is essential. This exercise helps you to avoid being impulsive, venturesome (risk taking) and to have understanding for another.
Visualizing in your mind a traffic light adds to the process of anger management. RED = Stop, YELLOW = Think, and GREEN = Choose.
When it comes to expressing anger appropriately, you must see that you have a choice. Learning to control your anger will lesson the risk of hurting another. If you find this process too difficult, be sure to talk with someone about your lack of exercising control over your anger.
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